Sunday, July 30, 2006

uh anh... no she didn't!

so, just as i was well on my way to loving the skin i'm in... damnit if providence doesn't give me the f-ing finger! wtf?!?!

i'm cruising along, living everyday relishing in the fact that i'm transitioning in to the woman i'm going to become and wwf smackdown (or whatever the hell it's called) ensues. i'm tryna learn humility, optimism, and the perfect balance between self-love and selflessness and i tripped up and let someone else completely derail my journey. i mean... did they not know i was on a journey? could they not see how much of a groove i had going on? i'm talkin the snap your fingers/doin the snake kinda groove. or was it that i couldn't recognize the train charging at me from the opposite direction before the head-on collision occurred (sidebar: has anyone ever watched "seconds from disaster" on the discovery channel? on the real... i'm making my own episode as we friggin speak...i digress). damnit... i fell off my "A" game once again.

are we "supposed" to do that?!?! is that part of the plan? perhaps. i just gotta understand and accept it i guess. but my head hurts, my eyes are puffy, and i have rosco snot on my face so ration is not one of my strong suits right now so lesson learned... UNcheck. my head is cloudy and emotion is my governance right now and we all know that never makes for a good installment.

i'm searching for reassurance... any out there? can anybody hear me? so the
f*@k what if you can't... imma scream at the top of my lungs any damn way.