"if only...

...we'd stop trying to be happy we could have a pretty good time."
- Edith Wharton

sideways

i always find comfort in knowing that, fundamentally, "what will be will be." sometimes that's the ONLY comfort you can find. no matter our actions, our destinies will always be.

email forward (ugh... but funny nonetheless)

(and yes... i left the little email forward carats in and everything. what!!!)

>This is a true story about a recent wedding that
> took place at Clemson University . It was in the local newspaper and even Jay
> Leno mentioned it. It was a huge wedding with about 300 guests.
>
> After the wedding, at the reception, the groom got up on stage with a Microphone
> to talk to the crowd. He said he wanted to thank everyone for coming, many from
> long distances, to support them at their wedding.

> He especially wanted to thank the bride's and his family and to thank his new
> Father-in-law for providing such a lavish reception. As a token of his deep
> appreciation he said he wanted to give everyone a special gift just from him. So
> taped to the bottom of everyone's chair, including the wedding party was an
> envelope. He said this was his gift to everyone, and asked them to open their
> envelope.
>
> Inside each manila envelope was an 8x10 glossy of his bride having sex with the
> best man. The groom had gotten suspicious of them weeks earlier and had hired a
> private detective to tail them.
>
> After just standing there, just watching the guests' reactions for a Couple of
> minutes, he turned to the best man and said, "F--- you!" Then he turned to his
> bride and said, "F--- you!" Then he turned to the dumbfounded crowd and said,
> "I'm outta here."
>
> He had the marriage annulled first thing in the morning. While most people would
> have canceled the wedding immediately after finding out about the affair, this
> guy goes through with the charade, as if nothing were wrong.
>
> His revenge--making the bride's parents pay over $32,000 for a 300 guest wedding
> and reception, and best of all, trashing the bride's and best man's reputations
> in front of 300 friends and family members. This guy has balls the size of
> church bells.
>
> Do you think we might get a MasterCard "priceless" commercial out of this?
>
> Elegant wedding reception for 300 family members and friends: $32,000.
>
> Wedding photographs commemorating the Occasion: $3,000
>
> Deluxe two week honeymoon accommodations in Maui : $8,500
> The look on everyone's face when they see the 8x10 glossy of the bride humping
> the best man: Priceless
>
> There are some things money can't buy, for everything else there's MASTERCARD!
>
> "Life isn't like a bowl of cherries or peaches, it's more like a jar of
> Jalapenos--what you do today, might burn your ass tomorrow..."

i hear that!