so, just as i was well on my way to loving the skin i'm in... damnit if providence doesn't give me the f-ing finger! wtf?!?!
i'm cruising along, living everyday relishing in the fact that i'm transitioning in to the woman i'm going to become and wwf smackdown (or whatever the hell it's called) ensues. i'm tryna learn humility, optimism, and the perfect balance between self-love and selflessness and i tripped up and let someone else completely derail my journey. i mean... did they not know i was on a journey? could they not see how much of a groove i had going on? i'm talkin the snap your fingers/doin the snake kinda groove. or was it that i couldn't recognize the train charging at me from the opposite direction before the head-on collision occurred (sidebar: has anyone ever watched "seconds from disaster" on the discovery channel? on the real... i'm making my own episode as we friggin speak...i digress). damnit... i fell off my "A" game once again.
are we "supposed" to do that?!?! is that part of the plan? perhaps. i just gotta understand and accept it i guess. but my head hurts, my eyes are puffy, and i have rosco snot on my face so ration is not one of my strong suits right now so lesson learned... UNcheck. my head is cloudy and emotion is my governance right now and we all know that never makes for a good installment.
i'm searching for reassurance... any out there? can anybody hear me? so the f*@k what if you can't... imma scream at the top of my lungs any damn way.
3 comments:
I feel you....when you are in that grove and you are making progress and you and coming into you and all of a sudden cot dag on it....you fall off...its hard, its frustrating, its something you didn't see coming...but speaking from experience, vent-let it out...and get up brush yourself OFF look at it as a lesson learned and keep moving....
The road of life is not always going to be straight or bump free...but get right back on your road Sista...keep pressing on....
"(sidebar: has anyone ever watched "seconds from disaster" on the discovery channel? on the real... i'm making my own episode as we friggin speak...i digress)."
that right there... what!? that lets me know that whatever it is, its going to be ok. cause you're still you. people and events can derail us, but as long as our mind is intact, we'll eventually fix ourselves up and get back on the tracks. its the meantime that is the hardest...
so, in that time... (1) get all the snot out, cause you cant bring that up to the D! (that's a delawarian tryna be hard, lol) (2) no matter the urge... don't cut all your hair off! dont do it girl! put the scissors down! and (3) know your always in my prayers and thoughts everyday when i see your smiling phone icon on AIM (smiling phone? what am i talking about???)and that someone to roll with you, cry with you, fight, plot, plan, and scheme with you is right up 95!
oh, whoops, anonymous was me! :)hey girlie!
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